Grokking Gordon

To all who suffer,

Freedom is found in the futility of this world. So is despair. It is one of the enemy’s greatest weapons. It is most effective right before we would shrug off our woes and move into a true lifestyle of faith. Then, we are told we are ungrateful. We are told we are irresponsible. We are told we are behind schedule. We are reminded (as we often also remind others) of the imperfections we possess which are defined by temporal circumstance. We then withdraw back to the world experiencing a temporary reprieve as we are praised by its acolytes.

Am I suggesting that we put off worldly responsibilities so that we may better serve God? No. What I am saying is that we live with an attitude untouched by its burdens!

Alas, the trick is in the doing I suppose.

I think sometimes we forget that God is real. We then place our faith right below what is important. You see, faith doesn’t buy groceries. It also hasn’t helped the woman of my dreams find my doorstep (or maybe she’s really bad with directions). After I grab some food, marry the waitress, have some kids, and put the finishing touches on my kingdom then I’ll worry about faith. Until then I’m just too lonely and depressed. Oh, it’s true, many of us are too lonely and depressed. It’s because we flirt with the futility of mortality and therefore with freedom. We hold such knowledge at bay for certainly its embrace means destruction, right? No. Its embrace means freedom. In this freedom we fulfill our responsibilities but we also find eternal relief from despair. All the while we worship.

Oh, but again the problem isn’t in the understanding. It’s in the doing.

Have heart my friend — you are not alone.

Sincerely,

Gordon

Our world is not filled with answers.  It’s filled with patterns.

Therefore, there is freedom of choice.

You choose to believe nothing, or you choose to believe something.

What do you choose to believe?

A snippet of something I wrote at one point…

A lack of opportunity is often times why a desire is not acted upon.  A lack of opportunity can take the form of physical circumstance or the threat of certain consequences.  What we want to do in a particular situation is an indication of what we are willing to do. This willingness is estimated by our beliefs and is a matter of the heart. It is also a matter of sin. “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin…” (James 1:14-15). The birth of sin occurs when we are willing to submit to temptation (or perhaps when we aren’t willing to fight temptation.) The physical action resulting from an undefeated temptation is a matter of circumstance. The sin is not. “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt 5:28). Sin resides in a heart prepared to act on temptation — a heart belonging to one who can imagine a world where that temptation would be willfully acted out.  As a follower of Christ one must prepare their heart and mind in light of the threat of suddenly finding oneself in such a world.

Gird yourself! (Eph 6:13-18)

I put on my leather jacket and drove to Barnes & Noble to hang out in the vampire section and pick up chicks (because that’s where they go.)  When, a brightly colored yellow binding caught my eye in the Christian Inspirational section.  I diverted my path and quickly started to read what I would later learn was a giant yellow Bible.  That is how I became a Christian — not really though.  I am lying.

– The End

Dear every Christian I’ve ever known in my entire life,

Look in the mirror.  No, seriously, right now, go over to a mirror and look into it.  I’ll give you a couple seconds…Take a long look, at least 30 seconds.  I know, that is a really long time to look into a mirror, but humor me for a minute.  What do you see?  What draws your attention?  Do you focus in on your blemishes?  Did you notice something that wasn’t there last time you looked?  Are you looking at the things about your face that you wish you could change?

Now, I want you to answer me this question:  how long can you look into your own eyes?  If you’re anything like me, you’ll find it hard to look into them for too long.  This is because reflected in that glassy surface is the person that you have become.  The entirety of your life up to this exact moment has made you and molded you into the man or woman staring back at you.  Every decision that you have ever made, every sin you have ever committed, and every problem you have ever lifted up to the Lord is contained in that mirror image.  That image is – as near as we can get – a perfect one.  It does not lie.  It does not bend truth.  It merely reflects it in all of its imperfect glory.  And so, those eyes looking back into your own reflect who you truly have become.  Only you and the Lord know fully who that person is.

In this moment, you cannot lie to yourself; what purpose could that serve?  You know who you are, and you know that God knows who you are.  And so I ask you this simple question: How do you plan to live out the rest of your Christian life?  That probably isn’t the question you were expecting, but it is the necessary one.  For the rest of your life, how do you plan to live with God and with other Christians?  Is the person reflected in that mirror the one with whom you want to spend the rest of your days?  If you’re anything like me, the answer to that question will be “no”.

James 1:23-25 states, “Those who listen to the word but do not do what it says are like people who look at their faces in a mirror and, after looking at themselves, go away and immediately forget what they look like.  But those who look intently into the perfect law that gives freedom and continue in it-not forgetting what they have heard but doing it-they will be blessed in what they do.”  The Word of God is the mirror that we are to use to evaluate our lives.  Yet, like with the actual mirror we were just looking into, you cannot go away from it and forget what you look like.  God has given a perfect image in His Word for us, yet so often we forget the image that we have seen.

Today, I do not want you to walk away and not be changed.  I do not want you to forget what you look like, blemishes and all.  Unlike the reflection of your face, the reflection of your life can be overhauled.  The person staring back at you today does not have to be the person staring back at you tomorrow.  The eyes that were convicting a moment ago can become encouraging.  Reflected in that mirror is the image of God.  As image bearers, we have a responsibility to be better than we once were.  As image bearers, we are to bring Christ to the nations.  As image bearers, we are to reflect – however imperfectly – His glory.  As image bearers of the Most High God, we are to shine and not wither under the weight of our own humanity.  So today, will you melt, or will you change?

-Matt

Dear every Christian I’ve ever known in my entire life,

I come to you as a man who loves God and who knows that God loves him.  I write this letter in hopes that it is received by you who have a similar heart.  You should know that my struggles are still fought on a daily basis.  I have much still that I pray to be delivered from.  You should also know that I have hope and that this hope continues to increase.  This hope is, of course, in our Lord Jesus Christ.

I thank many of you who allowed yourselves to be used by God while I was still lost.  From you a light shined that was not of this world.  I thank you for that.  I thank God for that.  It was by this light that I was saved from foolishness.  By the gentleness of those who wished to show me another way, I was brought to Him.  Many of you moved with clear intention, inviting me to join you and asking me to stay.  The truth of your actions where made clear by the sadness at my declination.  Others of you I merely watched.  Your ignorance of my curiosity proved the sincerity of your action.  The consistency of your thoughts, while you had nothing to prove, made certain the conviction of your path.

I was alone when He came to me.  My thoughts were mine alone.  My thoughts turned and my eyes were opened.  I followed Him.  I have never been alone since.  I look back and see what he rescued me from:  a rescue that would repeat over and over and continues still.  I look back at my rebellion and it breaks my heart.  My rebellion was one of ignorance.  I had been lost yet then I was found.  However, I knew not which way to go.  I was young and without the refined tools of my faith that I use today.  I didn’t understand prayer.  The wisdom of the bible was without context.  My faith was weak and the world seemed strong, safe, normal.  The habits of my sin ran deep and were well practiced.  The importance of sharpening myself against other believers was not known to me.  It would be years before I would find you again:  those Christians I had so deeply disappointed before.

In the years between finding Him and finding my way I merely survived; avoiding that which seemed to hunt me seeking to devour me.  I knew not where to hide, how to fight or confront this dark force.  I sought someone to teach me but I found no one willing.  Often times I would find myself on the brink of destruction only to be rescued in the final hour by Him.  I wanted desperately to know how to follow Him closer, how to stand in His shadow, and in His safety.  My ignorance caused me shame and alienation.  When I was finally reunited with the gentle creatures that planted the seeds of my conversion I had questions burning in my heart, “Why didn’t you come for me?  Why did you plant these seeds and then disappear once they started to seek the light?”  Now, as I grow in a faith fortified by an ever developing understanding, I now know the answer to many of these questions.

The enemy has worked a piece of trickery amongst us.  He dilutes the truth by stepping in the way of what comes after the truth.  He stunts our growth by making us proud to be Christians.  He cripples us by having us choose to believe it all ends there.  We then abandon those fresh to faith.  We feel proud that they’ve come around and happy that they are off the list and we leave them, young, unequipped, and on a path of stagnation.  Once they were lost and now they are found and we leave them.  We walk away.   This abandonment, seen and experienced, becomes a practiced example as young Christians become more mature.  We never develop the sensitivities and vulnerability necessary to minister to each other effectively.

We have misplaced what it is to be a unified body.  We bicker amongst ourselves; the best of us stepping over the bodies of fallen believers to reach the unsaved, the worst standing idle allowing hope to slip through idle fingers.  We compete over doctrine and obsess over subordinate truths while our members are ravaged by the enemy.  We run our communities just like the unregenerate.  We guard our hearts and vulnerabilities.  We tuck away our secret sins and let them fester while other believers do the same.  We drag each other down; devouring over money and condemning based on petty choices in lifestyle.

You should know that it is a burden on my heart to think of all of those I have abandoned and left to the world,  those who where young in their faith with no one to show them the way, I struggle to be humble enough to forgive myself.  The Shepherd will collect His sheep in time.  I know this to be true.  Yet, I also know that reaching out, seeking to heal what poisons the hearts of other believers, and asking for help where help is needed, is what God has asked us to do.  We must work to heal each other.  We must lay aside the bitterness and strife which yields nothing eternal and stand together.  We need to carry those who have fallen as He carries us when we fall.  When we strike out in error we must not run in shame but return to clean the mess we’ve made.  We are called to practice forgiveness moment by moment and never leave another believer’s back undefended.  How much more effective would we be if we controlled our attitudes, If we studied together and fortified each other?  What sort of refined faith would we have then?  Instead, we pour ourselves into the matters of the world, matters of image, reputation, and status.

We must minister to each other.  On a daily basis we should be seeking out the wounded amongst us, healing them in what capacity we can.  We should be teaching one other and sharing the gifts the Lord delivers to us regularly.  We must learn to be sensitive to the rash that sin leaves.  We cannot ignore it.  We have to ask the hard questions and sit and listen with compassion to the hard answers.  We must act with conviction and love with the love that God gives us.  Only then can we keep the body healthy in a fallen world.  We have to open our hearts to one another.  We have to ask for help.  We have to be honest and sincere.  When one amongst us falls we need to jump to cover them.  We can no longer stand idle worried about our reputations.  We can no longer laugh at those that lack the understanding we do.  We must step up, lend a hand, lead, and allow ourselves to be led.

I wish I had more time to write and explain, perhaps in the future I will, but my conviction is simple:  we must help each other to grow.  Right now this is not happening.  We must not let the enticing confusion of this world hinder us.  Nothing is more important than growing in our relationship with Christ, helping each other grow in this relationship, reaching out to the lost, and doing all of this to the glory of God.

Until that day,

David Gordon Limbaugh

Dear every Christian I’ve ever known in my entire life,

Well hello there. So nice to meet you, again. Firstly, let’s establish one ground rule: with a letter like this I recognize how easy it is to come off as being condescending and snarky. I’ll try my best not to give that impression, but even if I do sound that way, I’d like you to remember that with all the suggestions, comments, advice, etc. that I give, I also recognize myself as needing it just as much as (and probably more than) any other saint. Fair enough? Play ball!

So much that can be said, and yet there is so little time. Isn’t that always the case? We’ve known each other for so long. We’ve had some bitter times, but we’ve had some really good times too. I’d like to think our pleasant memories far outweigh the negative ones, at least, I’m sure it’s true on my side and I can only hope that it is on yours. Yet, for all the faults that were mine, I do sincerely apologize, at least as much as is possible in such an impersonal forum as this one. I’d say that I never meant to hurt you and that any harm I caused was unintentional, but I’d be a liar. Let’s face it, I’m a sinner (and so are you) but there’s a chance I’ve got you beat at it. In fact, sinning just may be the one singular thing that I most excel at without any outside help. There’s plenty more to say on this, but for the sake of brevity (and not boring you to tears) I will simply and honestly admit that my dealings with other Christians  involved hurtful and selfish motives on many occasions, sometimes purposefully, and sometimes unknowingly. I’m not at all proud of such things, and look back on them with shame and disgust. However, I stand firm in the knowledge that God has forgiven me and I pray that you too would find a way to forgive me from the depths of your heart and in doing so free yourself from a snare with which the enemy would seek to trap you. I forgive you. I hold no grudges and I continue to burn the lists that I’ve made to keep track of every little offense you’ve committed against me (including the ones I made up). If you catch me creating such lists again, do feel free to tell me, for they are only fit for the ash heap and to keep them would be poison my soul. Come, let us speak of these things no more, for they are the past and it is behind us now. Instead we look toward the future, and each new day ahead of us.

I hope you’ve learned much from me, I know I’ve learned so much from you. Yes, sometimes from your mistakes, but mostly from your wisdom, your kindness, your teaching, your sanctification, your love. Such things I’ll not soon forget and perhaps on that Great Day when we are gathered as one we shall be able to recount them all and to see how each one was an integral part in developing the other’s faith. Like cogs we move continuously, not knowing how our movements may impact someone far away who we ourselves never see. I praise God for the way you’ve worked in my life. It was essential. I may not have always appreciated it, but I know without you I would not have gotten far.

I could rattle off whole books of platitudes and clichés on how you should live your life. But what good would that do? You have the Bible, God’s greatest truths revealed, and you have one another to constantly remind, rebuke and exhort you. Plus you’d probably forget the advice I would give. But when has that ever stopped me?  Don’t compromise. I mean it. It never benefits you, at least not in a real and lasting way. Be teachable and humble, life will go so much smoother if you are. Learn from the mistakes of others and also learn from your own mistakes (is that vomit really so appetizing?). Read the Word, pray, be in fellowship with like-minded believers. Always test what you hear to determine its truthfulness. Be sure that your faith is genuine. And if you get to Heaven before I do, just dig a hole and—ok, so it doesn’t work like that.

I look forward to when next we meet, whether it be the near or far side of eternity. I hope that all our time spent together, be it past or future, will not be seen as a useless waste but as a beneficial contribution to the kingdom and the glory of our God who is Almighty.

With prayers, laughter, tears, joy, and love,

Aaron

Five men walk slowly. Each deliberate in his steps. Each piece of the arc they form focused with an intensity that suggests their slow pace might quicken at any moment. Then a sixth man, 10 yards ahead, steps syncopated by the dark entourage that follows him, the turn of his head and the crease of his forehead are that of a man being hunted. The twitching claws attached to his wrists and the slump of his back are that of an animal tired yet sensing danger. The hollowness of his eyes are that of a devil having already lost everything. The piece of the arc closest to the devil moves his mouth as he draws his side arm. Weapon kept by his side, the deliberateness of his action is not missed. The arc continues to move. The devil watches and slides further from the path.

We know so much but so did they before they fell.  In the battle against sin at what point do we stop fighting and begin to be hunted?

…As my broken body raises from the deck I see the helm, it is unmanned.  As I pull myself across the ship, the wind slicing my flesh with iron tendrils, death mocks me offering sweet escape and eternal cold.  My bones crack as I take control of the wheel turning her back into the wind.  I look to the sky, ‘A toast to madness!’ The fiery screams of thunder and lightning are the only response…

I wish I was being dramatic.